THE ROOM THEORY

055 – MARCH 2008

THE ROOM THEORY

Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.”

I’m having a hard time with this evolution theory. I realize that I am not a scientist but the whole thing raises a lot of elementary type questions.
* Was there really a first living cell that came outta nowhere? Really - Where did the first cell come from? If this is really true, then this is a big deal! Shouldn’t we name it and honor it with a holiday or something?
* Did this first cell reproduce? How long did it have to wait for another cell to come along? Did a whole bunch hit the scene like a street gang? And, how did they know they had to make more? Did they have brains first?
* They must have evolutioned the brain first, otherwise how did they all know they were going to need more than one eye, or one ear, or one hand? The brain must have come first to be able to sense these needs. But then, how can you sense a need for seeing when you don’t even know it's available? Does anyone really believe that the eye merely evolved? How about the brain?
* I have always wondered why there is not a species creature that evolved with just one leg? Just hopping around having a blast? … not even knowing that he might need a second leg? One eye, one arm, one index finger, one ear, … ? What’s with the two? So, why not 2 noses then? How did all these little cells evolve on their very own and not have a great mix of onesys and twosies?
* Finally – If man really evolved from the apes … Did the apes know that they needed to be smarter? Did they care? Or, did they (somewhere in their little evolutionary brain) know that eventually they would require conveniences such as roads, buildings, toilets, refrigerators, or potato chips? Those apes!

I have a new theory – The Room Theory! I think that they (the little one cell things that came from nowhere) all got packed in a little (Didn’t have to be too big!) room (for millions of years of course). Now picture this - Maybe one of the little itty bitty cells got stuck in the back wanted to see over the crowd what was going on up front. For years this little cell grunted and pushed and strained. Maybe this cellular situation caused it to became a giraffe or something. Maybe a need to hear something caused the rabbit to evolve? A need to wiggle to the front caused the snake? A need to smell the skunk (who had already evolved) caused the blood hound?
A big question is how all these little guys in this room, became “alike per species.” Why are there a bunch of the same? Why are there a bunch of orangutans? Or sharks, or centipedes, or roses, or moose? Think about it - Acting on their own - Shouldn’t there only be one?
Maybe, all of the cells had an opportunity to observe what they wanted to evolve to. Or, was there a boss cell who plucked each little guy from the Main Gathering Room and decided for all of them which of the species they were to become?
I can picture it – The boss points to a selected Species Evolving Room (with a category sign on the door) and the poor little cell starts to cry ”I don’t want to be a plant?” Or screams, “A fly? Are you crazy … “I’ll spend a million years evolving to a lousy fly and then have only 24 hours to live?” Forget it – I’d rather be a worm or even a pond leech!”
I realize that my new Room Theory has a bunch of flaws and questions. For example - While they were all in this room – Did they have to eat? What did they eat? And the big question, based on the fact “When you gotta go – you gotta go!”, will be - Can you imagine having to go to the bathroom for a million years?
The Room Theory is pretty silly. But, if I could just get enough people to believe it …?

Nehemiah 9:6 “Thou, even thou, art Lord alone: thou has made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth and all the things that are therein, the seas, and all that is therein, and thou you preservest them all …”