THE STOCKING STUFFER

064 – DECEMBER 2008


THE STOCKING STUFFER

For some reason, I have been stuffing Christmas stockings for over 20 years. How I was picked to do this … I do not know! But, I am the stocking stuffer man. I am the Santa Claus that stuffs those stockings to overflow. It started with 3 stockings and has grown to 10. Ten! Ten!

1. Shopping for stuffers. I hit the stuffer trail and visit my 3 favorite places (Unidentified - I can’t give away all my secrets) and begin the process of shopping. After 20 years of practice, I move through the aisles with great confidence and buying precision. I can now purchase over 100 gifts in only 2.34 minutes. Really! Not really!
Of course, I buy everything in “10’s”. The foundational gifts include - 10 rulers, 10 stretch gloves, 10 tooth brushes, 10 Pilot “P-700” fine point pens, 5 “8-packs” of mini candy bars, 10 decks of cards, etc. All are wrapped in aluminum foil. Really!
Because of my great stuffer skills - I also include 4 or 5 original stuffers. This year, one of the unique items will be the “Ped Egg”. I love those infomercials.
2. Sorting the stuffers. I go back to my secret sorting place. I gather 10 bags, write names on them and … I sort!
3. Stuffing the stockings. On Christmas Eve, after everyone has gone to bed, I pour the bagged stuffers into the appropriate stockings. Simple ! Done! I can make a perfect “pour” … every time. Each item goes from bag to stocking without a miss. I’m unbelievable.

Christmas morning, the most unusual facial contortions begin and verbal gratitude includes ”Aw, Dad!” / “Oh, Wow! A ruler!” / “Dad, you really went all out this year.” / “Dad! Really! A Ped Egg?“ / and additional loving insults.
They balk at the standard stuffers and they scorn at the new “never received before” items, YET - just last week I was visiting my daughter and we were looking for a deck of cards and not one was to be found. They get 5 decks each Christmas!!!! My stuffer genius continues to astound them all.

Each year I try to pass on this ghastly responsibility, but no one will ever take it on. I ask them all if I have “Dummy” written across my forehead and they all respond with an enthusiastic “Yes!”
My granddaughter, Sophia, is now 13 years old and had helped me with the process for the past 2 years. She called in sick this year! Really! Not really!

So, Merry Christmas! Enjoy your Christmas this year. Be thankful for all of your seasonal traditions and take time to appreciate all those who love you.
And, be thankful that God didn’t pack a stocking full of stuff. He carefully chose the one greatest gift for each of us.
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."